A Wedding in the Garden

I’ve mentioned before that when I was in high school and college, I used to play my accordion for all kinds of occasions: parties, Bar Mitzvahs, store openings, and occasionally for weddings.

One day, I received a call from a couple wanting me to play for their wedding, which was going to take place in this park in Oak Cliff—at sunrise—so, while it was still dark, I lugged my accordion to this park in Oak Cliff containing several beautiful gardens.

My job was to accompany the soloist who was going to sing the song “We’ve Only Just Begun”—a popular song back then by the Carpenters. So, I pulled out my music and asked the soloist if he wanted to rehearse. He said yes, and I invited him to share the music with me. “Oh, I don’t read music,” he said. “How did you learn this song?” He said, “I stayed up all night last night and listened to the record over and over again until I had it memorized.” We rehearsed once and then took a break before the ceremony.

Then it was time for the wedding. I launched into the wedding march. The minister then went through the ceremony. And it was now time for the song. The only problem was—no soloist. Everyone looked frantically for him to no avail. Finally, someone yelled, “He’s over here.” The singer, exhausted from staying up the night before, had crawled underneath a tree and gone sound to sleep and could not be awakened for his big number.

I thought about that wedding this week as I read our passage for today, the story of the first wedding. It also took place in a garden. But in this garden, there was no accordion player, no soloist, no minister; in fact, as the story begins, there wasn’t even a bride. Just a man in desperate need of a mate.

And as we will discover, God uniquely created a woman just for him to be a companion throughout his life. In Genesis 2:18 we will look at the first institution God created. Before government, even before the church, God created the home. And the foundational relationship in any home is that between a man and woman. In this well-known passage about marriage, I find a problem, a plan, a possibility, a procedure, and a principle.

1. The Problem (Genesis 2:18a)

After each major act of creation, God pronounced his work “good.” When we come to the creation of Adam, God says “it was very good” (Genesis 1:31).

That is why verse 18 hits you in the face, even more so in the original Hebrew text. The first words in the Lord’s comments are “Not Good” for man to be alone.

It was neither good for the creation in general nor for man, in particular, for Adam, to be alone in the garden. We need other people. Adam was in fellowship with God, but he needed more than that. He needed a counterpart, a companion. 

2. The Plan (Genesis 2:18b)

• “Helper”

Ladies, unless God has called you to singleness, the Bible says your highest calling in life is to be a helper to your husband, and then, if God allows, a mother to your children.

The fact that you were created to be a helper to your husband in no way implies that you are inferior to your husband. The Bible clearly states that men and women have the same standing before God; both were created in His image. The fact that your assigned role is to be a helper does not change that.

Please note that submission is both voluntary and limited. By voluntary I mean this—no one, ladies, forces you to get married. But once you do get married, you place yourself under your husband’s authority. 

You see that illustrated in the Trinity: God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. All three persons in the godhead Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are co-equal.

But the Son of God, though equal to the Father, has voluntarily submitted Himself to His Father, and the Holy Spirit has voluntarily submitted Himself to the Son and the Father. 

• “Suitable”

God created a spouse that would be opposite you, that would shore up the deficiencies in your life. I see it over and over again: savers marry spenders, introverts marry extroverts, people who are planners marry people who are spontaneous.

That is God’s plan. Instead of berating your mate’s differences, celebrate those differences. 

3. The Possibilities (Genesis 2:19-20)

Remember, God had promised to Adam that He would make a helper suitable for him. Now we have in verses 19-20 God parading all of the animals in front of Adam for his review and notice the last phrase of verse 20, “but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.” 

As Adam watched all of these animals from the aardvark to the zebra pass before him, I think he made note of two things. First, they each had a mate. How do I know that? Because the Bible says that they reproduced after their kind, God created them, male and female. 

But even though the animals had mates, the Bible says that for Adam, there was no helper. This exercise highlighted Adam’s aloneness.

Secondly, I think he noticed the difference between himself and the animals. Remember now that Adam is thinking about God’s promise to bring him a helper. I’m sure that Adam must have thought that one reason God was parading the animals in front of him was to show him his potential spouses.

There was no possibility of a satisfactory union between the two. Adam knew he was different than the animals. After reviewing the possibilities for marriage and coming up empty, we see the procedure God uses to create a woman.

4. The Procedure (Genesis 2:21-23)

• Man Slept

This word for “sleep” doesn’t mean a trance; it means a deep sleep. It is the same word found in the book of Jonah, where it says that Jonah slept soundly during the storm. 

The sleep was necessary for Adam to survive what must have been a painful operation to have had part of himself removed in the formation of a woman.

But I think there is another reason for the sleep. I think it is a picture of how God works. God often does His most important work while we are asleep. When we are unaware of what is going on.

I think if you were aware right now of everything God was doing in your life, the other people, the circumstances He was orchestrating to fulfill His purpose for your life, it would be like being awake during an operation—you couldn’t stand the pain. God will bring the right person into your life in His time. That is certainly what He did for Adam.

• God Worked

He fashioned her out of one of his ribs—and probably the surrounding flesh. Why a rib? I don’t know for sure. You are aware of the famous comments by Matthew Henry who said, “God didn’t take her from the head to be his superior, or from the foot to be his inferior, but He took her from his side to be his equal with him, to be his companion.” 

5. The Principle  (Genesis 2:24)

If there is one thought I want you to come away with it is this. Husbands, wives, your mate is a gift from God uniquely created to help fill up the empty places in your life. Take care of that gift, cherish that gift, and thank God daily for His gift.